Pleasantly mangled interpretation of p-values that I came across recently:
(STT is Student t-test and WTT is Wilcoxon t-test)

“The two-tailed z-tests produced calculated p-values of < 1.0 × 10−6 for STT and
WTT at α = 0.05. As the calculated p-values are much less than α, the Null Hypothesis is rejected which therefore proves that there is a significant difference between the two groups, i.e. low and high risk.”

From: Batty CA, et al (2015) Use of the Analysis of the Volatile Faecal Metabolome in Screening for Colorectal Cancer. PLoS ONE 10(6): e0130301. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0130301

First posted on 22 September 2016 http://blogs.warwick.ac.uk/simongates/entry/feel_the_significance/